While Fringe is winding down, with Fox announcing this fourth season will also be its last, J. J. Abrams unveiled its supposed TV inheritor: Alcatraz.

On the surface, Alcatraz has numerous similarities to Fringe: instead of Olivia, the cute blond girl protagonist is detective Rebecca Madsen. Instead of the truly interesting and complex science fiction premises and cases involving parallel universes, we have flimsy as paper premise involving “the worst of criminals” from 1960s Alcatraz flooding our time, conveniently though, one at a time. Instead of a potential love interest(s) and complex back story, we are served a more digested, dumbed-down version of Fringe. One that follows the mantra of 99% of television these days, making it entirely unpalatable: Alcatraz is just another show where bad guys are really, truly bad, and the good guys…well, they are cops.

We are not short on cops. Especially on TV.

Fringe is beloved by audiences. It exemplifies the kind of drama meets science fiction (or X-Files?) where the focus is not on the “bad” but rather on stopping something from occurring. Olivia doesn’t just catch the real baddies you see, but sometimes engages with the perspective of the other, lending it a hand, finding a solution.

Unlike Fringe, composed of now beloved, smart, witty, loveable characters, Alcatraz offers little in terms of heart strings.

The prisoners that seem to pop conveniently across time and space, seem to be dumbed down significantly, like rabid dogs that exemplify some kind of paranoid, perhaps ideological as well as pathological view of “criminals” that leaves little room for understanding, conversation, debate, or even progression of story line.

Granted, Alcatraz is a far smarter show than Falling Skies or Terra Nova, but I sure wish Fringe were to last a few more good seasons for one thing is certain – it shall be missed greatly!

I bring you Minecraft Girlfriend. This is the story of one man’s descent into madness through Minecraft penis sculptures. I actually wrote the script for this one and it was produced by my friends at Megasteakman. I was really amazed with the ability of the actors and director to take such weird and goofy material and then maintain a sense of drama. This video was in part a response to the new Minecraft 1.0 release, although overshadowed by Skyrim and Skyward Sword (mostly Skyrim since even the new and amazing Zelda game barely made tremors in the Skyrim-dominated gamersphere). But again I’m blown away with the cinematic treatment given to a video about making giant penises in Minecraft. It looks and feels like a short film that would screen at a festival, but it’s about penises. It drips a love for cinema that is evident in everything from acting, cinematography, and the platoon references as the lead character watches his creations’ ultimate fate.

Tonight I’m Frakking you! A nerd-culture dance music video featuring actual celebrity TV and youtube talent! I feel videos like this add credibility to the microbudget video movement. It’s really cool when a bunch of hungry slumdogs pick up the camera and make a video to share with the internet for lulz and profit, but it’s also cool to see established actors and professionals joining the ranks of the internet viral videographers. What I found really brilliant was that this is the first instance I’ve seen in any media of the elusive Jedi Vulcan. The battle between Star Wars and Star Trek has been waged for an eternity. It strikes me as odd that people haven’t taken into consideration the possibilities created by combining both franchises. Imagine a force nerve pinch. Or a phaser saber, like a light saber but with an infinitely long blade and the ability to destabilize anything it touches. A mind trick combined with a mind meld is no longer a mere trick but a whole mind theater. What would happen if the Borg assimilated Sith into the collective? Phaser immunity and force lighting? That moment in the video where the cloaked hero at the dance party removes his hood set my mind free from the rigid structure of Star Wars v. Star Trek

2010 has been a relatively good year for television, but science fiction, or for that matter, any content worth considering to be entertaining, is scarce and getting scarcer. On the other side of the fence lie dramatic gems like Mad Men and Boardwalk Empire, but if we stick to our focus, the offerings this year are hard to pin down. Here is our pick of the 2010 best productions though:

1. Stargate Universe

Stargate Universe has become the focal point for all science fiction fans this year as its second, more sophisticated season, took an unexpected leap forward. An all-you-can-eat buffet of hard(er) sci-fi, SG:U has been quite the ride. The show finally departed from the uber-claustrophobic, yet painfully realistic depiction of the miserable survivors stuck on a floating ancient husk of a ship that is intent on traversing through galaxies until the end of time, and instead allowed the writers to turn their attention to exploration of new relationships built with neighbouring species.

Dr. Rush, played by magnificently potent Robert Carlyle, finally gained control over ship’s complex framework, only to be presented with the much bigger, more mysterious problem of the initial ship’s mission. There is a pattern resonating throughout the universe, he explains toward the end of the season, and it is more organized than anyone anticipated.

The show also lost its cuteness as the character of Chloe, traumatized after a kidnapping by a combative alien species, started to change. Her Kafkaesque metamorphosis included extreme changes in DNA and bodily fluids (blood), improved mental capacity resulting in her ability to solve complex problems, and slight physical changes to her epidermis. In the beginning it resembled sleepwalking and magical healing powers, but soon, Chloe became more interesting than ever, emerging as a smarter, sadder, more experienced victim of circumstances beyond her control who increasingly grew disenfranchised from the crew and the man she loves. Like the bride of Frankenstein she is left waiting for the abrupt, yet anticipated arrival of those who tampered with her genetic code.

Even David Blue’s likable, geeky and childish Eli, the always bumbling character that we’re all meant to relate with, has experienced more of life this season. His somewhat shallow and annoying naivete, a nod to previous SG incarnations, has been carefully tinged by new, more sophisticated emotional ranges including anger and loss, as he was facing both metamorphosis of the object of his endless affection, Chloe, as well as a sudden, cruel murder of his very first lover.

The saddest part of all of this is that this superbly crafted show, one that I can count amongst to be the best of all time, has been announced as canceled. There will be no third season, we’re told, so make sure you carefully watch the first two.

2. Fringe

Fringe is one of those shows that noone expected to get better with time, yet somehow, surprisingly and despite all odds, it did exactly that.  This third season of Fringe can be considered no less than spectacular, as agent Dunham finds herself hostage on the other side of the looking glass.

I cannot but recommend Fringe as one of the best things to happen to television, and while initially during the introductory seasons, the script degraded to episodic X-files-ish moments, resembling largely all the other cop shows, this season’s story-arch has well made up for it.

We found out a lot: the truth of Peter’s origin and Walter Bishop’s past, what the life and technology on the other side appears to, as well as gotten the taste of upcoming war between dimensions all somehow related to the most incredible story involving “first humans” technology.

Fringe is quickly becoming more intriguing and complex than BSG, and that is saying much. The multi-dimensional aspect allowed for a far more nuanced approach to standard good-guy-bad-guy narrative.  If you haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, now is the time.

3. Misfits

UK show Misfits is an unheralded gem. This low-key, low(er)-budget production about disenfranchised slackers in their mid-20ties with superpowers will take you for an unforgettable and delightfully humorous ride.

The events that take place during the second season of the group’s community service solidify the relationships between the characters, but also present us with a far firmer understanding of just how detached they are from the remainder of society that continuously graces them with an uncaring, violent and reckless attitude.

Every episode is chock-full of hysterical funnies, gore, death, and sex, sprinkled with a hefty dose of beauty and touching humanity.

Misfits grew this season into characters who finally grasp that they are a group, as well as that the powers given to them are meant to complement their delicate personalities and in many ways protect them.

The show stays away from heavy CG and instead relies on its wonderful, no, scratch that, AMAZING cast and writing. With just enough sadistic humour and violence, sharp wit and scathing dialogue, this is definitely one of the best things to grace our small screens.

4. Doctor Who

I’ve complained incessantly this year over casting choices and script picks for the newest incarnation of Doctor Who, but the Xmas special has definitely changed my mind. It was not hard to notice that Smith felt more confident in his role, more at ease with himself, and the quirky mix of steampunk and scifi just did it for me. This year’s Doctor Who is by no means bad, but I am looking forward to its even better continuation in 2011.

5. True Blood

Fairies. Yes, fairies. True Blood has left me elated this year, and I am begging for more. The vampires got more complicated as were their strange, communal laws, power struggles and violent, backstabbing ways. We also had delightful introduction to werewolves and fairies.

Most importantly though, the Suki-Bill connection remained unresolved, which means more True Blood for all of us. Yeey!

6. Lost Girl

Came out of nowhere, Lost Girl turned out to be a full-fledged Made in Canada production focused on a culture of long lost creatures, including our own Bo, a terrifyingly inexperienced succubus who for the first time relies on friends and frenemies.

Compared to Timur Bekmambetov’s DayWatch / NightWatch series, the fantasy world has its underbelly as well as its ruling class basking in sunshine. Bo works as a private dick along with her thief sidekick, Latvian super-Kawaii delight Kenzi, played by Ksenia Solo.

Lost Girl appeared right after True Blood ended its season, and we welcomed it with open arms. The two are not comparable by any means. Lost Girl is a light romp that barely stands on its own, yet it is succesfully filling that massive gap left by previous year’s cuts of some very important productions, feeding our inner monsters, I guess.

My tip is, watch it. It harkens back to 90s shows. It is light and entertaining and that’s good enough.

7. Burn Notice

Two words: Bruce Campbell. I don’t care that it isn’t sci-fi. This is after all a show the likes of which we grew up watching. Smart narrative, interesting storylines, and cheeky undertones give this show an incredible value as we watch Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) dogged pursuit of those who burned him from CIA.

Packed full of action, comedy and Miami, entertaining does not even start to describe it.

8. Sherlock

Came out of nowhere, featuring one of my favorite British faces, Benedict Cumberbatch in the title role, the newest incarnation of Holmes can only be described as labour of love.

Written by Stephen Moffat and Mark Gatiss, the two do an amazing update to the all-famous detective work and produce hours of compelling drama that manages to smartly integrate contemporary themes and issues with that of original Doyle.

9. Supernatural

Let’s face it, Supernatural was conceived as a light murder mystery without the mystery part. But somewhere along the line, the stakes became higher and instead of killing the regular set of vampires and monsters lurking in the dark, the issue of good and bad, heaven and hell got a lot more complicated.

The line that the two brothers, hunters by occupation, used to draw, applies no longer. Sam’s soul for example, ended up in hell, and rescuing it back may not be such a good idea. Heaven is in turmoil, as  angels deal in ancient weapons, collect souls and are out for heads, while Hell is still the pit that rules the mob, just by an unexpected characters.

More surprises than you can shake a stick at, Supernatural has grown into a real television show but not at the expense of its sense of humour.

10. Spartacus: Blood and Sand

When conceived, Spartacus was meant to fill a hole left by the raucous adventuring of Rome, but then it turned into oh so much more. Think even pervier, more comic-book version of Rome, with an edgy, porny perspective, offering incredible visuals of mounds of oiled bodies ready to fight and kill.

John Hannah and Lucy Lawless are the masters of a gladiator house, a ludus, who not only invest in Spartacus, the tried fighter who survived despite all odds in the ring, but are also quite enthusiastic on climbing the social ladder. A lot pends on successes of a common Thracian, Spartacus, who continuously emerges as a champion, but in the world of politics and battle to death, a lot can go wrong as Machiavelian plots try the luck and the will of the Thracian.

Overall entertaining, the show has a unique visual appearance, deriving a lot of its imagery from graphic novels. Truly worth watching for visuals alone, the show starts off shaky but then continues to develop at a faster pace and is sure to draw you in as you follow Spartacus trying to survive, make friends and do the honourable thing.

Many of you may wonder, why these 10, and why 10 only, to which we can only reply: beggars can’t be choosers.

Of all the disappointing, lackluster shows to hit our radars lately, none is as pathetic as The Gates.

This show simply takes the cake in the “suck department.” Somehow, between the Twilight craze, aging Anne Rice readers, and new suburban wives falling over themselves for Taylor Lautner, The Gates was invented, pitched, and made it all the way to our humble TV sets.

My thinking was that maybe, after a few episodes, the show about a secretive gated community in US, in which residents are composed of humans as well as witches, vampires, and succubi, things would get more interesting.

But they didn’t.

Instead, they created a universe of darkness and boredom. That fine soap-opera quality permeates every shot of this strange Twilight-meets-Days of Our Lives, while the storylines are so lackluster, slow and lacking in any form of enthusiasm, that watching this show feels like a form of Hollywood torture or some kind of liquid diet, aiming to strip you of any delight for all things fantastic.

You see, the vampires are parents, and they live in suburbs – just doing their best with schools, bake sales, and an occasional snack on the help.

And the show is boring, disappointing and dissatisfying in every possible way.

While the adults could possibly be part plastic, the high-school progeny of their vampire loins, may be as well be made of the stuff.

I just have a few words for you: don’t watch it. Don’t even bother.

Let’s be clear on this: Stephen Moffat has not won me over.

When Russell T. Davies announced his departure from the show, Doctor Who was at the height of its popularity. Tennant was ooozing that same level of exhilaration when seeing new tech, meeting aliens, or just interesting people. More joy than Indiana Jones, we were led to believe that the Timelord is a responsible, insightful, smart, joyful, and curious creature.

Things were good. Tom Baker level of good.

Sarah Jane had a fantastic little show, aimed at those hungry for a bit more of the Doctor magic. Torchwood rocked our socks off because it gave us that low-budget love, with a bit of sexy thrown in for good measure, and the occasional bout of tears. And Doctor Who was the BEST.

And then Moffat came in. I had faith in the fact that here was a man who was not only a fan, but a working one, garnering recognition while working side by side with Russel T. Davies, “learning the craft.” And my sincere hope was that Moffat will somehow magically be competent enough not to invent things, but rather just keep up with them. But that is not how the things went down.

Moffat’s moment of power was announced with a “reboot” of a beloved franchise. Unexplained reboot, new start, call it whatever you would like, but the idea of some kind of reinvention of a show that good struck fear in my heart.

Then there was the issue of Matt Smith as the Doctor: likeable, cute, some may even say, sexy. But one also might add: bored, slow, not so curious, slightly patronizing, and entirely void of joy.

Similarly, his companion is similarly uninteresting. Amy, while played by gorgeous Karen Gillan: all legs, red hair and lips; is also an underdeveloped character.

As a result, the show took on a different hue. Now, more comparable to Davies’ Sarah Jane show, the Doctor is fascinated with saving the children, usually even smaller and younger than the ones in the care of Sarah Jane. In the Beast Below, the children are the only ones not eaten by the lovely, giant star-whale. Star-whale?! Why not a magic pumpkin, or a giant peach?

Story lines are relatively lackluster, and lead to overly sappy endings, and even the greatest story arcs still feel stilted as if being dumbed down for this massive global audience.

Moffat’s version of Churchill is quite literally pathetic. And the Hungry Earth, a really beautiful story set at an underground facility of cryogenically frozen race of Silurians, was lost due to the meandering nature of the new Doctor: stripped of any semblance of passion, anger, love, excitement…

That Matt Smith is the youngest Doctor is something we understood from the very beginning. But we gave Smith the opportunity to showcase his talents. The same courtesy was offered to Moffat.

That Moffat is more focused on Smith’s abs (see the Lodger) than the Doctor’s endless comprehension, empathy and enthusiasm for kindness and good, is an entirely different, and very sad matter.

The show now is not something I look forward to watching. Instead, I view it, week to week, with a disappointment, watching a beloved character dissipating, murdered by bad writing, acting and lackluster directing.

Doctor Who is, at this point, lesser show than Sarah Jane Adventures. And that is worrisome.

No explanation required.

by Irma Arkus

Every once in a while, television and the Internets conspire in an unholy alliance to produce something so vile that it can only be called irresponsible. I present to you Martha Stewart “pole dancing” video.

Yes, what is itching your lobes is tucked expertly between Yarn Cards and How to Choose a Lamp Shade. If we weren’t into horror, it would have stayed there, but every once in a while, I need to feel a few chills too.

Here comes brrrrr.

by Irma Arkus

Fox is officially the bane of my existence. Not only is Fox responsible for mowing down some of most fan-beloved shows, but its eagerness to remake everything into a watered-down version of its former self is starting to eat at my soul. I present to you the latest attempt to murder us in our stupor while sitting in front of the screens: remaking Torchwood.

I am not saying that it’s a bad idea. In fact, I can see Torchwood in an international setting – a sort of US arm of the specialty unit dealing with all alien threats. But I do ponder at why?

If you are not familiar with Torchwood, a Russell T. Davies show that sprung as a companion piece to Doctor Who, then let me do the introduction. Meet Captain Jack Harkness, an immortal man who wears a coat two sizes larger, and flashes a smile that will seduce every living thing, is in charge of Torchwood, a unit that combats all those dangers that aliens present, while the Doctor is away.

The unit is lovable, sexy, and more than mildly steamy. It’s like X-Files meets Saved by The Bell, but one in which everyone is doing it with everyone else.

In other words, it’s genious fun for grown-ups. And I do mean the kind that US television has failed to produce for decades.

So, my question is: why? Do they really think that the grave injury represented by unruly and flop hems around Jack’s ankles would be a forgivable sin if worn by anyone else?

Do you really see another Jack? Do you see too many gay romances? Do you see? Do you see? I don’t. Naaah. [The Hollywood Reporter]

by Irma Arkus

This week’s True Blood announced the added casting of Kevin Alejandro, a familiar face to viewers of Ugly Betty, Southland, and the now defunct Drive.

Alejandro will be joining the show but he will be playing an unusual addition to an already exciting storyline. Alejandro will play none other than Lafayette’s love interest, a move that will potentially change the face of homosexuality and solidify presence of homoerotica in North American media.

You see, Lafayette is unlike other gay characters which have graced the television screens of North American audiences.

Past shows featuring prominent gay characters, such as the long-running sit-com “Will & Grace,” tended to play into LGBT stereotypes, providing a way for the audiences to accept and connect with homosexuality through familiar, albeit often homophobic concepts.

Clip below showcases Will and Jack, who are an example of two male gay characters who display not only amazing interior design abilities, but also practice law and acting, two relatively soft, white-collar professions. They also braid each other’s hair!

But Lafayette’s presence is one that does not follow this familiar pattern in terms of behaviour, instead showcasing a much different, more complete personae, rather than the carboard(ish) stereotypes easily found in popular shows from “Sex in the City” and “Ugly Betty” to “The Office.”

They tend to be feminized to an extent that they serve as best friends of female protagonists who seek their council on everything from what to wear, to how to manage their lives and relationships. We almost never see their background stories, or see them in actual relationships, something that many LGBT communities actively complained about in the past.

Wonderfully depicted by Nelsan Ellis, Lafayette is unlike those characters. In some ways he is an embodiment of discriminatory patterns. He is a gay, black man, residing in a relatively stagnant, small town of southern Bon Temps.

But that is where the distinguishing qualities of Lafayett are showcased. Though flamboyant in his attire, he is also an individual aware of his strengths and abilities, as well as his physical capacity.

A mover and a shaker, Lafayette is a rare fish in a small pond, and he often supplements his income by engaging in variety of legal and illegal schemes. Highly intelligent, provocatively well spoken, and a natural charmer, he wheels and deals to the best of his ability. He mostly trades in drugs, in particular V, named to represent actual vampire-blood used by inhabitants of True Blood universe as a hallucinogenic and a short-term metamorphic substance; but he also engages in potential prostitution, and runs operations such as various internet businesses, including one in which he allows online viewers to pay for dancing in his own living room.

His main source of income though, is a string of low-skilled, low-paid jobs, and that includes being a line cook at Merlot’s, and occasional work in construction. This separates Lafayette from the usual glamour paved over the streets of New York or other major metropolitan cities, and instead allows us to identify him as part of lower-class, working America.

What Ellis brings to the show is an undeniable physicality to the character of Lafayette. Lafayette is keenly aware that he is an exceedingly attractive male, a quality that he takes full advantage of – after all, he wears a lot of makeup and even satin turbans that in any other setting than the kitchen would allow us to tap into Dior or Haute Couture – but he is also aware of his physical, masculine strength, and he seems very much prepared to use it to defend himself or his principles, displaying a kind of savage nobility that usually falls to heterogenous male protagonists.

Watch what happens when Lafayette’s cooking is rejected with a hefty dose of homophobic remarks:

While the discussion on whether Lafayette is confronting in this scene just another set of stereotypes, in this case, a group of three, lower class, unnecessarily patriotic men in fatigues, who also display a great deal of cowardice despite their outspokenness and initial impetus for aggression, Lafayette does succeed in aggressively confronting them, physically defending and proving his masculine superiority.

Thus, Lafayette represents not the kind of gay man who engages in traditionally feminine roles, which would allow the patriarchal, heterosexual audiences to easily dismiss him. Instead, he presents us with a homosexual character who explicitly showcases his masculine strengths.

Lafayette can very much be understood to be a new type of gay character in American media, one that departs from the acceptable stereotypes, and physically threatens the established status quo.

Lafayette’s character is also very much beloved by female and male audiences. While thus far Lafayette has been clearly depicted as a strong homosexual protagonist, the lack of any romantic involvement on his part has also somewhat slightly diminished his open display of homosexuality. In other words, he has been merely a supporting character that most noted as lively, and interesting, but one that still does not display his sexuality in an fully open fashion.

Now, however, with the announcement of Alejandro joining the cast as the Lafayette’s romantic interest, audiences would be given a chance to consume a relatively new type of gay romance, with undeniably homoerotic tendencies.

This very much invites the question of whether True Blood is acting as an introduction, or gives rise to, a type of “yaoi,” a popular sub-genre of manga comic books predominantly consumed by women in Japan.

Yaoi has thus far largely been ignored by the North American consumers, but the general excitement over Lafayette amongst the female audiences is undeniable, as is the excitement over what is to come in the upcoming season of the show.

Perhaps True Blood will pave the way for more than unexpected characters, but open us to a wider, cultural acceptance as well as the unlikely consumption of homoerotica on a much bigger scale.

by Irma Arkus

Check out the disturbing promotional trailer for Poochinsky, a failed attempt at a TV show with an unforgettable cop duo.

Hint: one of them is a dead cop who entered the body of a dog. Thanks to Mike for the tip.

ps. word “irony” pops into my head when I watch it, even though there is obviously no irony here. for some reason, I am also tempted to file it under “science.”