Hi-Sci-Fi

by Irma Arkus

“We all knew that James Cameron, is a Canadian, and a total jerk, threatening the film industry,” explains a concerned 36-year old executive, James Smith. What Smith is referring to is the latest concern of major film studios: “Theaters play all kinds of films. The Tooth Fairy, Legion, Extraordinary Measures, Alving and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel, and my favorite, The Book of Eli, a film about a supernatural bible that kicks the asses of all unbelievers. But all people wanna watch is Avatar!”

The treatment of these mediocre productions by the public, executives say, is unfair. And they see Cameron as a major threat to the film industry overall.

“We thought we had an agreement,” says Roger Browne, a major film investor. “We made concerted efforts to make Avatar dumb, and resemble Dancing with the Wolves as much as possible. But the public is just eating it up.”

The executives and the investors agree that Cameron’s Avatar is something that should never happen again, as it represents a security threat to the entire film industry. Rumours are, the film industry has gone as far as Pentagon to ask for assistance: “We are talking with some very important and powerful people. More powerful than Spielberg.”