I’m Just Lookin’ around: Vancouver Film

by Irma Arkus

Almighty dollar of US and A appears to have been murdered by Canadian Loonie. The Bird has started to gnaw at the US and A dollar, biting its head off and devouring its still beating heart. From now on, US and A dollar shall be known as the dollar with a hole in the middle, The American Yen. Now 50% lighter! Still, Canadians feel screwed out of their hard-earned pennies, as the pricing of goods is still merciless in comparison to our poor little southern neighbours. Loonie has never looked so golden. mmmm.

Economists are screaming murder. Something about ‘adjustment of dollars’ and “recession.” That last one seems to be a whisper.

Even though the initial travelogues of Hollywood film crews coming to BC were justifying their Northern migratory patterns by saying things like: “you can film rain here because rain drops in BC are the size of a human head,” or “you can’t find more depressing background for X-files,” and my favorite: “our mighty dollar stomps your bird dollar and eats it for breakfast…served with Canadian Bacon,” but now that the accounting reason is gone, they are still not leaving. The reason for staying? For the Sushi of course. So, let’s look at the state of affairs in Vancouver, BC.

The Bionic Woman has wrapped up its tent-acles because of the writer’s strike. Good riddance I say. The show is crap. Maybe the writers can take this strike as a mental vacation and come up with some better show ideas. Although, I suspect that a lot of shows will have plot lines plucked directly out of these ‘experiences’ – we’ll see a lot of following elements in the months to come: waiting lines, protesters, fat-cats, strikers, unions…oh, yes. Every show will have a plot about sympathetic strikers. Finally, the socialist edge American TV needs.

On the other hand, Higher Form of Learning, a gem from Steven Segal factory has just wrapped up its shoot. I bet it will be “highly educational.” You can just imagine Segal reading a history book, a kind of Patch Adams in school, bringing smiles to grandmas and kiddies, until all hell breaks loose.

The Day the Earth Stood Still is starting its production. I am crossing my fingers on sitting in Keanu Reeves’ lap during rush-hour SkyTrain ride. I can’t wait. I bet all superstars take SkyTrain to their humble Burnaby /Surrey abodes. Just like they do in New York. Keanu is doing the role of Klaatu, by the way.

Zack Snyder’s “Watchmen” is also being filmed here. You may remember him as the guy who brought us 300 to the big screen. Set in alternate universe, where it is perfectly normal for all to wear latex and lycra pants, but only when you work for USA government. Yes, a world chock-full of superheroes, in a cold-war period, where American superheroes dream of kicking ass of Russian superheroes, a plot of killing all superheroes is uncovered. Pheew, that was just a tad long. Anyways, read the lines – 1985, men in tights, conspiracy, Ruskies, and a whole bunch of capes flying around. Cool.

Battlestar Galactica: Season 4 announced two days ago that they might prematurely wrap their shoot, as they “be ‘runnin out of words on paper.” This bodes badly for my favorite show, but I still can’t be pissed off at the writers striking. And let’s not forget the Razor…mmmm, delicious.

The other shows expected to suffer a little due to the strike are Reaper and Supernatural, which are small budget production with a certain amount of dedicated humour. Both highly enjoyable…. Oh and Kyle XY, but who watches that show anyways? It has Parental Figures in it *yawn*.

Now back to Sushi…