RE-MAKES: Death Race 3000

by Irma Arkus

Since the two thousand part of the “Death Race 2000” has been and gone, the remake is merely a humble “Death Race” or rumoured “Death Race 3000” What you may not know is that the remake is announced to come out on Aug 15th, 2008. In mere 2 months from now, we are supposedly going to see a gruesome song of deaths and cars….and Jason Statham. Owwwwww.

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (not Uwe Boll?), this is a remake of a cult-classic which ultimately inspired Grand Theft Auto aficionados for years to come – both the video and reality kind. Originally featuring Silvester Stallone, the film set in post-apocalyptic future made as much sense as Barbarella or early Will Ferrell movies with…wait for it…David Carradine as the villain, Frankestein.

Kind of like being pissed off by a taller version of Ghandi, while rooting for the less-muscular Rocky. Your good-guy/bad-guy radar may be confused, and are not quite sure which side to pick, but none of that matters as the competition turns into a Highlander-style race: there can be only one! And running peeps down with your massive, shiny hood – that’s the way to get points and win.

Still, Death Race 2000 provided hours of cheap thrills. Produced by Roger Corman, the man behind every B-film, the movie is still a cult favorite when combined with enough pizza and beer. It contains enough hilarity for decades to come.

Which brings us back to…the remake. Jason Statham stars in the leading role as “that prisoner who drives his car really fast.” Apparently, Statham’s character is a prisoner trying to earn his freedom by competing in “Running Man”-type competition, but with cars.

If the quality of this film is anything close to remake of Rollerball, then we probably won’t even notice its release. However, I still hope that it will have an ounce of stylistic originality, or a bit of humour to make it into at least a surviving memory of its accidentally beautiful original.