Why I Hate Wonder Woman…Sometimes

by Irma Arkus

Alright. You’ve heard me say it a million times, and I will say it again – I hate Wonder Woman. To all of you who are thinking back to what and how Wonder Woman started, I say booohooohooo. I know that a lot of things had more than fantastic beginnings, but in this case, how does that excuse for a female appendage of a superhero character, emulsified in boob-a-rific Wonder Woman? I find her detestable. Why you ask? Because Wonder Woman exemplifies so many things that are characteristic of so many badly constructed female excuses for superheroes.

Oh, what’s that? You want me to clarify? SHE IS LAME.

Latest on Wonder Woman camp – Diane Von Furstenberg has written a Wonder Woman comic book.

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with my secondary obsessions (y’know, apart from crazy science and massive amounts of science fiction,) I happen to love fashion.

And apparently, Von Furstenberg dedicated a whole new line of clothing to Wonder Woman, including writing this limited edition book on subject of Wonder Woman, features writing by Gloria Steinem, whom I also happen to admire a lot.

You know what that makes this particular book “Be the Wonder Woman You Can Be: The Adventures of Diva, Viva and Fifa”? Pure shameless promotion of uber-expensive pieces of clothing that probably Wonder Woman herself cannot afford (after all, why would she wear same costume over and over again, especially after all those bondage sessions in the 60s?).

I know what you’re going to say — but it’s going to charity! How can you be so heartless? I say boo again! You want to donate to charity – Why bother with clothing then? Why not just donate the cash where it’s needed?

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This “product” my friends, is an equivalent to a Superman comic book about how wonderful Gillette Mach 3 shavers are. Worst of all, it entails Gloria Steinem in order to appeal to my inner feminist — Or should I say — confuse my inner feminist?!!!

But what does this have to do with Wonder Woman? Or for that matter, comic books? Nothing. Just further proof of utter lameness. So, there. I await your arguments. Hit me with your best shot.