Back to the Future 2 running shoes

It’s the future and now we finally have the appropriate footware. Nike is releasing a line of running shoes inspired by the futuristic running shoes that Marty McFly uses in Back to the Future part 2. It’s not quite the hoverboard we were all waiting for, but rumor has it that it has power laces – laces that tighten themselves – in addition to all the blinking lights.

Good to see that we’re finally living in the future and that all those problems of the past have been settled. Libyans? We’ll never have to hear about them anymore. Power crisis? Thing of the past what with the cold fusion using garbage fuel and all. I think Nike just trolls us every ten years or so by dropping some weird novelty shoe on us and then laughing as we buy it and as kids in the 3rd world labor away to make them. I couldn’t afford the Nike pump shoes back in the 90’s, but if I could have then I should have bought a pair and kept it behind glass as a historical example of the stuff people will buy. Whereas kids thought the pumps were cool for awhile (note that I have never seen any of them actually pump their shoes before exercise – actually using the pump ability would have just been ridiculous) I can’t imagine the Marty McFly shoes being popular amongst anyone but nostalgic 80’s hipsters. That being said the only logical explanation is that it’s all just a joke. I can appreciate Nike’s humor, but the joke comes with the stinging reminder of all the great fantasies that failed to materialize in our future of today. Well, I guess one of the 80’s era fantasies about the post-2000 age came true:

My question about the teledildonics hardware and software is that if you stick the dildo into the fleshlight ring can you get them to stimulate each other such that the AI will have sex with itself? Will it become self-aware?